Fair, enough!

So the fair is going on in the big town. Everyone goes to the fair. The kids are given a few days off school (some of them the whole week so they can work at the fair), the seniors are temporarily employed hawking fudge and candy, traffic is backed up for miles, and of course it rains. It always rains during fair week.

Last year four of us went to a concert at the fair. It was raining and the stage seating (the ground between the stage and the grandstand) was of course muddy. Two of us remembered to bring ponchos and ended up sharing them with the other two. So picture two mud-splattered tent-looking contrivances, each one with two heads sticking out of it, one of those heads wearing an umbrella hat. Yes, I did say umbrella hat!

I bought one at the dollar store for the sole intention of wearing it to the fair. I could take a regular umbrella but it takes one hand to carry it. I need both hands free for the fair; one to bring whatever gastric delight I've just purchased to my mouth, and one to toss dimes and/or play bingo. An umbrella hat was the obvious answer. By the way, I am the dime-toss queen, y'all. That totally goes on the resume if I ever apply for a job in Alabama.

Now picture the umbrella-hat-wearing head holding a fried dill pickle in one hand and flipping dimes with the other. Occasionally interchange "fried pickle" for "cheesecake on a stick" and "flipping dimes" with "playing bingo" and that's pretty much me at the fair.

Oh, and we aren't going this year. It's not raining.