Of Hoff and Perry

I got laughed at last night. Twice. Why? I was chatting on IM and brought up the Random Question of the Day. In this case, it was:
"Ever look at a celebrity you crushed on way back when and wonder what the heck you were thinking?"
I got laughed at because I said I used to like David Hasselhoff.

Shut UP.

I mean it.

I tried to explain it was all about the car... well, who wouldn't like a guy, stupid hair or not, with a cool car like K.I.T.T.? And Devon had a nice accent. Yet I got laughed at for admitting I once liked the Hoff. I see him now and all I think is- in a word- EW. He doesn't even rate a few extra W's on the end of that EW either. I understand he's quite popular over the pond. I have no idea why; I've seen the videos and EW- followed by stunned disbelief that anyone can deliberately be so cheesy- is my usual reaction.

Another former crush of mine usually meets with agreement. Again, I have no idea why, as he is not what one would consider a stereotypically attractive person. In fact at the height of his popularity he was downright homely. Okay, maybe in the late 70's he was cute in a long-haired femme kind of way (much like Cher) but I came in at the tail end of that party.

I'm talking about Steve Perry, (former) lead singer for Journey. What was it that made him so popular with women? It couldn't have been *just* the voice, though that's what hooked me and kept me on the line for 25 years. And counting.

We liked him through the flamboyant effeminate hippie stage...
The slightly-chubby mullet-and-sideburns stage... (Click here for the ultimate in 80's cheese)...
The Big Hair and Faded Jeans With A Tailcoat era... (Hey, was that in Fresno?)

And the introspective older hippie (AKA the Melancholy) phase...
Then he chopped the hair off again for Gay Part II... We didn't care.
He gained weight... We didn't care.
There were more phases in between, like the transitional one from 70's to 80's and the One With The Hat from the Street Talk time. Through all his looks, a lot of women of my era, when hearing the name "Steve Perry," will say "Ooooh, he was so CUTE!" Some of them say that about him now. Ladies, once a man is in his 50's, calling him cute just seems weird.

I just don't know what the attraction was. Maybe the Portuguese looks? I know I crushed on a few guys just because they resembled him. (One of them, I believe, was a relative of his, though the guy never would tell me.) As far as I know, none of them could sing. Thus my interest was short-lived.

It had to be the combination of soulful vocals, unique persona and perhaps those cupids-bow lips, added to his dynamic stage presence and oh yeah, those tuxedo tails. With jeans and sneakers, no less. Whatever it was, mix it all up with a little bit of undefinable magnetism, a dab of Cheez Whiz and cream rinse by the gallon and there you go. Few did it like Steve Perry did, and that kind of unexplainable phenomenon may never be deciphered.

Gotta go... there's some Strange Medicine on the player, begging me to close my eyes and get lost in the music again. And a note to Steve: I don't care if you gain a hundred pounds, shave your head and wear polka-dotted pajamas... just SING, man! Sing already! I promise we'll fall in love with you all over again. History proves this to be true.

And stop laughing at me. For all I know, Steve Perry has a cool car too.

Before I go, here's one of my favorite Journey songs.

*Images cribbed from Google... if one is yours, drop me a line and I'll credit you for it.