Creamsicle, ew!

I used to love Creamsicles. You know, those orange popsicles with vanilla ice cream inside. After today, I'm not sure I want another one for a good long time.

I had to go in for a couple of CAT scans today. I don't have a cat, and I couldn't catch one of the strays out back (suckers are quiiiick*) so I went empty-handed. One empty hand soon held a cup of orange sludge. I'd heard from other people that the dye solution or whatever the heck it is tasted nasty, so I was surprised to find that it looked and tasted just like a giant melted Creamsicle. I hadn't eaten anything since the night before (had to fast for X hours) so it was kinda nice getting to suck down something thick and halfway decent. Like those orange cream milkshakes that Arby's has now.

Anyway, the nice part was short-lived, since as soon as I finished the sludge I was given a second large cup of it. That one was a bit harder to get down. It coated my mouth and I wasn't supposed to have water or anything to cut the film (I always like having a glass of water after ice cream). But I finished it and it still wasn't awful, just a bit heavy. Went back to the prep room and lo and behold, a third cup of sludge awaited me. I chugged it to get it out of the way. Then I got to get an IV hooked up. I was a bit ticked now... I hadn't been told I was getting an IV; I'd thought it was one of those little dye packs they stick in the back of your hand. Nope. The sludge experience was forgotten and I managed to not pass out through the IV process, though there was a tense moment when I had to remind myself out loud to breathe. Thank the Lord I'm not diabetic or anything else that requires daily injections. I'd be a basket case.

After that it was easy. I never have been one of those people who freak out for MRIs; in fact I usually relax to the point of dozing off in the tunnel. The hammer noises are almost hypnotic to me. (I'm one who has fallen asleep in Row 8 at a NASCAR race, without earplugs, so MRI noise is a breeze.) This CAT machine, though, was an open tube and the scans went so quickly I barely had time to snooze. The tech did ask me once if I was asleep. I said yes. ;-P

So... an hour of drinking melted orange cream, five minutes of convincing myself not to go yell at my doctor for not warning me about the IV, and twenty minutes of kicking back in a machine, and I was done. Well, almost. I get the results from one scan at the end of the month and the others whenever my doc looks at them and calls me. I wanna see them too. That's probably the only really cool thing about having almost one's entire body scanned at one point or another. I get to see what I look like on the inside! One of these days I'm going to request copies of everything and make a collage by piecing all the parts together. "Self-Portrait" indeed!

*nod to Foxworthy