Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Twitter. Or, Catching Up To The Power Curve

I've always been behind when it comes to the latest technology, fad, meme, etc.
I was on Friendster when everyone else had moved to MySpace, and still fought with MySpace when Facebook became the rage. I had a TracFone when everyone else I knew rocked smartphones. I drove a 1985 Buick when others had 2000-something vehicles with OnStar and GPS and satellite radio and traction control. I was going out clubbing when my friends were having babies and talking about diaper rash and chicken pox. And I was still wishing highwaisted jeans would come back in style because seriously, my butt never looked better than it did in Z. Cavaricci and Jordache.

I think I've caught up somewhat, despite my aforementioned and continual love of caption-cats. I have a Facebook page, a car that's less than ten years old, a Droid phone, a laptop... still no kids but that's not going to change... still no highwaisted jeans either but maybe that's a fad better left alone, if the current revival of neon track suits and belted tank dresses is any indication.

Let me comment on the kids thing a minute. I like kids but does everyone over 30 who blogs have them? I suspect this is the norm, since most people my age have children and of course they're going to write about them. This, my blog, is an Over-30-Without-Children zone. It may not feature photos of Brandon's First Poop or recipes guaranteed to get your child to eat their carrots, but as a non-parent I can't relate to those things and won't pretend to do so. I will, however, occasionally rant about something child-related because being childless does not mean I'm automatically vetoed from bitching about someone's obvious lack of parenting skills/common sense, mmmkay? Stupid is stupid and even non-parents recognize this in most cases. (For examples, see the many Facebook-posted photos of babies holding beer and cigarettes and sporting THUG LIFE captions.)

In a lot of ways I'm still behind. I got a Twitter account a while back but didn't use it until recently. I have found some funny stuff on Twitter. The ability to convey a story in 140 characters or less is an impressive feat. What bugs me, though, is seeing a request from JackA to follow JohnB "because he's funny" or "because he's original" or whatever, and I go to JohnB's page and it's all @replies to other people. It's like reading a list of lame jokes sans the corresponding punchlines. Or Leno cliffs-notes. Am I missing something here?

In other ways I'm waaaay ahead of the game. I refer specifically to my friends and co-workers who don't own computers and only socialize face-to-face (wow, what a concept. It'll never catch on though.) Around here a pickup truck with a snowplow is more important than a computer, and the head-count of one's cattle is more of a status statement than the number of Facebook friends. Therefore I'm often at a loss when I try to explain something I saw online, only to be met with blank stares and the implication that I'm totally bullshitting because that's so far beyond someone's scope that there's no way it's true. I have a friend who recently discovered he could get nekked boob pictures on his cell phone and he's ridiculously happy about it. Can you imagine his reaction if he had an actual computer with internet access? Okay, yeah, maybe the 'net has too many people like that already. Nevermind.

Anyway. Off to be domestic and clean stuff. Clean! Stuff! Nao! BLEH.

Cocoa Pebbles rock. That is all.

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