Turkey Trot and Fancy Doorknob

It was more like turkey run...

I have a big mouth sometimes. Usually at the times that are least conducive to my sanity and free time. In this instance, my boss announced that the site manager had just bought four turkeys for the employee dinner. He was going to fry two, someone in the office was cooking one, and that left one. He said to me (joking) "Hey, you wanna cook a turkey?" And my mouth overran my brain and said "Sure, why not?" It became less of a joke when I learned he wasn't kidding.

I don't have a turkey roaster or even a big baking pan (except the nice one I use for cookies and cookies ONLY.) I didn't really want to cook the bird either, but once I said I would I was committed. So I think, okay, I've roasted turkeys before. I just need a pan... I can cook it the night before and warm it up on Friday, so I need something to heat it in... two phone calls later and I lined up a warmer for Friday and my husband informed me that I did, in fact, have a roasting pan. It came with the new stove we got last year and was still in the bottom storage drawer. Whaddaya know...!

I hauled the turkey home on Tuesday and put it in the fridge to thaw. Tonight I got my marinade ready, heated the oven, washed and prepped the roasting pan... and the dang turkey was still frozen. *Brainstorm* Run to grocery store, buy fresh unfrozen turkey, and keep the other for the actual T-Day... that'll work! A nicer, bigger bird is in the oven as I type, oozing marinade and browning like it's supposed to.

About half an hour ago I heard crashing and thumping downstairs, like someone was trying to bash the lower door in. You can tell we live in a low-crime area because instead of thinking someone was trying to break in, I ran downstairs to open the door. See, this is an old house... the fancy brass doorknobs predate indoor plumbing... and something in the inner workings of the one downstairs finally went kaput. Therefore we haven't been able to close the door, since the slide jams and we can't open it again. Our neighbor was locked out, and he was, in fact, trying to bash the door in. My hubby got a knife and pried open the door; I took my screwdriver and proceeded to disassemble the knob with the intention of pulling the slide and innards out.

I have never seen such an old locking assembly up close. By "up close" I mean in my lap and all over the floor, since when I took the screws out a literal pound of various metal thingamabobs went everywhere. No tumblers in that baby... levers and springs and interlocking parts (and thankfully, several broken pieces that I personally was not responsible for). After ten minutes of head-scratching and rearranging I gave up, lined them all up as well as I could, screwed the thing back together and left it on the floor for the landlord. I did put the fancy knobs back in, though. So I don't feel entirely clueless... I hate not being able to figure gizmos out. At least I'm handy with a modern doorknob. I know exactly how to throw it out and install a new one. ;-P