Note to Self: Next time, take a quilt.

I mentioned that I was hoping to catch a nap at the doc's today. Lucky me... Just before I was called, the receptionist announced to the six people there that our doctor had to go deliver a baby, and would we mind waiting? Most of us didn't, since a delivery really isn't something a woman can put on hold until after her doc has discussed incontinence with Mrs. Feedlehoffer. One patient, however, caused eyes to roll in unison by whining, "Well, how long is it going to take anyway?" Um...hon...have you ever had a baby? Just asking... I haven't, but I'm pretty sure a baby's ETA isn't even as reliable as Delta Airlines' and that leaves a pretty wide margin. No pun intended.

I didn't snooze then... I was engrossed in my occasional game of "spot the grammatical errors in today's newspaper" and was proofreading the classifieds when they called me. Ten minutes later (and forty-five minutes after my initial appointment time) I was in The Gown and waiting for Doc to appear. I was listening closely to the voices in the hall, since I like to hear how they refer to the patients by disease or reason for visit instead of name, when what sounded like a Pamplona bull went thundering by the door, hollering "DELIVERY! Gotta go!" And there she went.

Keep in mind that I'd never met this particular doctor. She was referred to me by a friend a few years ago, but thanks to my HMO pulling a power-play with providers, I was unable to see her until the standoff ended. Needless to say, I was a little concerned. Those footfalls made me expect a stiff-spined, matronly, no-nonsense type, the kind that gives you withering looks if you even suggest you might get lightheaded at the sight of a hypodermic.

So I was surprised when, after finally taking an hour-long nap on the exam table, a very petite young woman arrived to see me. I had to ask her name just to make sure they hadn't sent a replacement. It was, indeed, my new doctor. The rest of the appointment went uninterrupted by whiny people or Pamplona bulls, and I found out I'd lost six pounds. Yay!

But I gotta tell ya, that crinkly paper on the exam table makes a lousy blanket.